An Immeasurable Tragedy: A Collection of Quotes, Pt. 2

Music has always been there for me and has been an integral part of my being for as long as I can remember. All the way back to when my parents started me in my first dance class at the young age of 3. I loved moving my body to the beat of the music. I loved the way the sound and the instruments made me feel, even when I couldn’t understand the lyrics or what the words meant yet. As I got a little older, I took a lyrical style dance class for the first time which combines your emotions with movement to tell a story. I instantly fell in love! If you know me, you know that I despise public speaking, so dancing has always given me that voice as a way to speak through my movement. After my first lyrical class, I really started listening to the words of the songs. I started to notice how the music made me feel. If I had to tell a story with just my movement, then it was important to understand the lyrics that I was dancing to. That is also when I realized just how much I loved music. I realized that music could enhance every area of my life. It made me laugh, smile, cry, and feel so many other emotions that I could connect to. Music was also prevalent in other areas of my life growing up. I mentioned previously that my dad used to play classic rock music in the car everywhere we went. Hence my love for classic rock! You could also hear music throughout the walls of our house, especially during the holidays and parties. My mom and dad also listened to music while cleaning the house and cooking. I learned that I could use music as a tool. While I was cleaning my bedroom, music magically made it more manageable and less annoying. When I started getting homework in school, I would turn my music on which helped make it less of a pain in the ass to complete. I don’t know what it was, but I felt like I could concentrate better while listening to the music. It took all of my anxiety and stress away. This was especially true when I had to write book reports, research papers, or essays, which I always ended up writing my best work the day before it was due. You would think that the music would be distracting but it was just the opposite for me. My mom would come in my room and say, “How the hell are you even focusing or getting anything done with all that loud music playing?!” Still to this day, I have no clue to be honest. As I sit here and write this blog, Led Zeppelin is playing. It is soothing and I feel that it helps my creativity flow. Aside from being there for me throughout all of my dancing years, I am constantly inspired by songs that I can create my own choreography to as a choreographer and dance instructor for the past 19 years. I always find a piece of music that speaks to my soul, that I can connect with on a deep level, and that I can use to tell a story.

Since my dad passed, I have really used music as a form of healing and medicine. To say that music has saved my life, would be a fucking understatement. Music has the amazing ability to take us back to a memory that we hold onto and long to go back to. I have a playlist in my phone appropriately named, “Dad’s Music,” and I listen to it all the time. If a song comes on the radio that reminds me of him I say, “Hey that’s a dad song!”, and I know that he is playing that song for me as a little, “Hello Feath, I am still with you!” I instantly get the biggest smile on my face and that song will take me back to a specific time, date, event, and memory that I cherish in my soul. My Grandma Linda religiously listened to Magic 105.7 on the radio, which played Oldies from the 50’s and 60’s back when she was alive in the 90’s. I have that station programmed in my car because not only do I love oldies myself, but it will always remind me of her. She loved music from The Beach Boys, Frankie Valli and especially Elvis. I have an oldies playlist on my phone as well that reminds me of all of the amazing and wonderful times I spent with her. So, whether it was a dance competition, a family cookout, a car ride, my graduation party, Halloween time carving pumpkins, a vacation playlist, Christmas music while putting up the Christmas tree, a school paper, a restaurant, helping Grandma bake, or so many other memories, I will always have music to take me back to those exact times in my life. The next time you are listening to a song, focus on the memory that pops into your head while listening to it. The next time you are cooking dinner, cleaning the house, working out, writing a blog, or getting ready for the day, throw on your favorite playlist and see if it gives you that little “kick in the ass” motivation that you need. When you think of your loved one, pay attention to which song comes to mind. Listen for it because chances are, they will play it for you when you least expect to hear it!

I have collected parts of songs where the lyrics speak specifically to grief that have helped me. I am sharing them in hopes that they will inspire you to try your best to heal from grief and continue to live your life to the fullest because that is ultimately what our loved ones want for us.

1,709 days since you left this world…a lifetime to go….

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"You used to captivate me

by your resonating light

Now I’m bound by

the life you left behind" 

– Evanescence

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 “If I could make heaven wait

I’d find a way to ask God if he made some mistake

If he’d save your wings for another day."

-Wayne Brady

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"Well, you showed me how it feels

To feel the sky within my reach

And I always will remember all

The strength you gave to me."

-Faith Hill

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"I need some distraction

Oh a beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

Let me be empty

Oh and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here"

-Sarah McLachlan

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"And as we wind on down the road

Our shadows taller than our soul

There walks a lady we all know

Who shines white light and wants to show

How everything still turns to gold

And if you listen very hard

The tune will come to you at last

When all are one, and one is all

To be a rock and not to roll

And she's buying a stairway to Heaven"

-Led Zeppelin

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"I must be strong

And carry on'

Cause I know, I don't belong

Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand

If I saw you in heaven?

Would you help me stand

If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way

Through night and day'

Cause I know, I just can't stay

Here in heaven

Time can bring you down

Time can bend your knees

Time can break your heart

Have you begging please

Begging please

Beyond the door

There's peace, I'm sure

And I know there'll be no more

Tears in heaven"

-Eric Clapton